dating

Recipient: [REDACTED]

–

Hey there, it’s me. I hope you’re well.

To make a long story short, my device suffered catastrophic hardware failure. GPS chip is fried and the main transmitter won’t lock on to transmit data. I had to use another in the meantime.

Unfortunately, while swapping to a new device during a backup, I lost your chat log. Including your number ID. The temporary device I was using did not save nor port over any information whatsoever. When I tried to get in touch with you where we originally met, I found that you deactivated your presence there.

I am now in the conundrum that I cannot contact you in any way whatsoever, no matter how much I want to. And believe me, I do; I’d love nothing more than that.

This is on top of you actually having the last word, asking me a question. A question that I said I’d put off till morning and answer you in good detail, once I got my device working to where I wanted it to.

I’m fully aware it does look like I left you hanging and have not answered your inquiry. And for that, I sincerely apologize. That wasn’t my intention, never was. I’d love to answer your question, and continue talking to you.

That said, you can reach out to me. You still have my information that I’ve given to you, and have artwork I shared with you with addresses to this website and other places (a by-product of watermarking my work). Long story short, you have every tool to reach out to me. This is up here in case you do end up here, following those leads to your curiosity.

This wasn’t on purpose. Life has been unfair to me in a few ways, and this is a byproduct of this. I wouldn’t have this for you to find if I wanted to vanish.

Just like comm arrays point out to the cosmos, I’m here, and listening. I wish you the best either way.

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TRANSMISSION END

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Seven years ago, I was asked a question by someone regarding me dating. It was the winter of 2013, right after I got out of school to find my way in the world.

If you found the perfect someone that you wanted, met all your checkmarks and needs, whatever you imagined; but they wanted to live in a quiet little rural spot. They just wanted to be left alone from the world, they absolutely loved the area. Would you turn them down?

At the time, I told them that would work out for me off the cuff. I tried to be a little open-minded with the question.

Seven years later, I’m staring into a shower wall at 3AM. That conversation came back to my head. With that much years and experiences gone by since. Without hesitation, without question, I knew the answer without conflict.

No.

I don’t think I really need to explain the answer, considering I have shared about myself the past few years. But that would never work out for me. Maybe twenty years later when I’ve had enough of civilization, I’d change my mind. But when I don’t even have in my 30s what most people have in their early 20s, marrying someone to hide in rural nowhere won’t get that for me.

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Maybe one day I’ll talk about it as I see fit. I don’t have the will to probably spell it out.

In 2007 I tried to put my best foot forward today to meet someone, told them I liked and was interested in them. Someone I knew for a good 1+ years at least. 3 days later they started dating a white guy from their church. That bothered me greatly, as if they just started seeing someone for the sake of not being single.

Something similar happened a few days ago, to someone I knew for a number of years. The same scenario played out when I told her I was interested in her. Lightning doesn’t strike twice? Well it certainly did here.

However, that seems to be part of a bigger, indicative problem that’s been happening since 2005. I’m not wanted or have any interest in with the people I meet. I have tried to at least work with someone, but considering how much effort there is to even get anyone to give you more than a second of their time, it’s clearly evident I’m alien and foreign to the local tastes. My homeschooled background does not help, as I’ve not mixed with my age of people in those critical, early years either.

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